Singles a rant…

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JUST A RANT: tldr; Set realistic standards and be nice.

I love how 80% of my single friends of Farcebook are made up of: the guys ‘likeing’ and re-posting pictures of scantily clad models and pinups, and the single girls I know posting about feminism and articles about how “men have changed.” Talk about a separation between mind sets.

Guys: You’re scaring off the ladies with your perfectly photo-shopped ideals. Be realistic, looks will fade, personality and intellect are more important. Also, if your standards are that high, you should look like an underwear model too.

Ladies: Stay positive, no one wants to hang out with an angry squirrel (read: man-hating riot grrl)! Enrich your mind, get a hobby. Men haven’t changed, what we allow as acceptable behavior has.

Feminine Sexualization

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Is it weird that I don’t want to portray myself as a sex object? I see so many women on Facebook, who post sexual photos, cover pics, and profile images and I think… Well, aren’t you pretty? It’s great for them, but I don’t want to portray myself this way.

Maybe because of how I see myself, a laid back, tank top and jeans wearing, girly tom-boy; “one of the guys”, if you will. Maybe it is because I have so many male friends, and I see how the self-objectification of these women change the men’s perspectives of them.

In my observation, this sexualization causes most men to think not about what these women have to offer intellectually, or socially, but it causes the men to see these women as some kind of prize pig (pardon the comparison.) An unattainable creature that must be won, or fought for.

Is this a good thing? I’m not sure, I have found when men act very interested when I dress in provocative or risque attire, they will ignore me when in casual dress. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to date or be friends with someone who would be so shallow as to treat me this way. Nor would I want to live constantly “dressing” for other people. I guess I’m just weird.

I refuse to objectify myself for strangers to validate my beauty.

Some thoughts on relationships

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I wanted to post this because it was an interesting explanation I had to send to a friend that did not understand my recent dating, but never having a “boyfriend”

I’m am dating. Which means seeking emotional (friendship) and physical (sexual) relationships with new people, sometimes with more than one person at a time. Multiple persons to date, spend time with, befriend, possibly more. I am open and honest, with all parties, if I am dating multiple people at the same time. That said, I am having a hard time finding suitable partners to date in Albuquerque. Most people I’ve met say they want a “friends with benefits” (FWB), but they really want a booty call. Some say they just want to be casual, which translates to “hook-up” (one-time-only sex.) But to be FWB, you have to be friends first, hang out, spend time together, chat… etc. And honestly, I’m not really looking for a hook-up. If I’m intellectually and physically compatible with a guy, I want to see him on a regular basis!

I do not want to jump into a monogamous relationship right away. I do not want to share a home/expenses. I do not want and am unable to have children. I want to be free to live alone, do what I want, with whom I want, whenever I want. The ability to date openly and honestly and without being judged for it. I am actually quite turned off by men that want a commitment right away, it sets off red flags for me!

My best friend would say I’m attracted to emotionally unavailable men, but I see it as being attracted to emotionally stable, independent, not-controlling men. Someone who is confident in themselves and is not looking for someone to complete them, a man who is whole on his own.

A little history about me: I left a 7 year monogamous relationship just over a year ago. We never legally married, though were committed to each other as life partners. That ended after I realized that we are just too very different people. I am an extrovert, he was introverted and very jealous/ accusatory when I would go out, though I never gave him reason to be. He was also very negative about my personality quirks/looks and constantly insulted me and called it “joking” or “constructive criticism.” I realize now that he was being abusive and using psychological manipulation to keep me entrapped. I was financially supporting the household for the last 3 years and being a good housewife as he built his business. He never put money into the home, he drank a lot, there was no sex… needless to say I felt very unappreciated. All we did was argue and bicker. He would threaten to leave and/or kick me out every time we had a fight, so I didn’t feel safe or secure in the home I maintained and supported. Finally he told me not to bother coming home after I went to happy hour with some ladies from my work and I never did, except to get my personal belongings (cloths, etc) and I left.

You can see why a live-in, LTR (long term relationship) is not on my immediate list of needs and wants. I have spent the last 10 years of my life in a manipulative codependent relationship with various men. I am trying to focus this time of my life (30’s) to mend old friendships, make new ones, go back to school, and basically enjoy life.

Fiona said it best: “I think the reason I got all these guy-friends and no boyfriend is because I don’t really want to date any of ’em. I don’t need to feel like I’m waiting to be noticed. I know who I am. And I’ll know what I want when and if it ever comes along.” ~Adventure Time Season 3, Episode 9

BUNNY

 

Monster Mash

via http://scarstuff.blogspot.com/ Publications by James Warren and editor Forrest J Ackerman

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creepy

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eerie

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampirella

Purchase the Vampirella Archives here

Bill Selby Art for Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine:

http://www.billselby.com/Famous_Monsters.html

Warren Collection:

http://www.allanpollett.com/geocities/winfo.html

My awesome mom

Cigarette girl

So I’m 6 days on electronic cigarette today, I’ve worn a low dose patch occasionally to help with the moods, and snuck a butt or 2, but I’m in the process of transitioning to e-cig only. A nicotine vaporizer, “vapeing”.

I got this great email from my mom, it must be where I get my obsessive compulsive need to research and educate myself about anything that crosses my path!  She’s a detailed researcher too. Read on…

Continue reading “My awesome mom”

Oh…”the holidays”

Grumpy Cat

So I wanted to post something since I’ve been away so long. I’m sure you didn’t miss me to much as the only one that reads my blahg…

I’m a very solitary person, social in public but hard to get to know. My family consists of my mother (in Canada) and my auntie and cousins (who live in town and never even call me for the Catholic holidays). And my bf who’s family is all out if state.

That said, I’ve always had a place to go for food holidays. My close friend who had the “orphan Thanksgiving” died many years ago, our next option, now has a complicated family situation and the ones after that are also… now complicated.

I’m glad I will not have to eat turkey, which I hate, but sad that I now am truly and honestly without friends or family for this 30th year of my life… No wonder people breed.

Till next time…don’t choke on a turkey bone.

Bunny DeVil

Volunteering

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I’m in the middle of a wicked cold and I’ve just started volunteering for the local Mini Maker Faire…the content for web and social media will be primarily content created and posted by me yay!

I promise I’ll be back and with less depressing content…maybe…

I really appreciate being able to post, vent and reveal myself to myself and the ether, it helps me work through my thoughts, my history, let’s face it…my obsessive research…LOL

Ttyl,
Bunny